Hunger was all that I could think of. After days of wandering the forest with very little food, all I wanted was a decent meal and some water to drive way the thirst that consumed my thoughts.
After walking for what felt like miles, I finally stumbled across a women sitting on the verandah of a hut, admiring a ring on her finger. Without another thought or hesitation, I slowly crawled towards her.
"Please, beautiful women, spare me some food and help a starving man out," I said.
The women never batted an eye at me, so I spoke again, fearing the hunger made my voice too quiet to hear.
"Please, kind women, help a hungry man out." This time I was basically next to her as I spoke, but once again she completely ignored me.
Starving and upset, I lost my temper at the women. "How could you be so cruel to ignore someone in need directly in front of you? I hope whoever you're thinking about forgets you ever existed."
The women still didn't hear me, but I felt better after cursing her. I hobbled away only to be immediately stopped by two very distressed girls.
"Please sir," they were begging me. "Please don't curse our friend. She was only thinking of the one she loves who she is separated from."
"She ignored me, a beggar in my time of need, even when I was inches from her face. How could I ever forgive her?"
"We'll help you," the girls offered.
They lead my to their well and gave me water and some bread to eat. I sat beside it and savored every bite of the food. The girls let me sit for a moment before they resumed their begging. The hunger and the thirst gone, I suddenly felt bad for my rash choice. I had been in love once and I remembered how hard it was to be separated from her. However, I couldn't just go back on my curse. I sat for a minute and pondered what I could do.
It struck me like lightning.
"If the man she was thinking of sees a token of their love, he'll remember her."
The girls thanked my profusely and I continued on my walk, feeling better and refreshed.
Bibliography: Nine Ideal Indian Women by Sunity Devee
Author's Note: While reading, the part where Shakuntala gets cursed is what I liked the most so that's the part I focused on for my story. I didn't do too much to change it, just changing around some names really, but I chose to write it from the perspective of the mendicant that curses her to get his thoughts on the story. This story is from a section of Sakuntala from the Ninde Ideal Indian Women by Sunity
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| The Beggar from Flickr Images |
I love your remake of Shakuntala its one of the famous love stories where she is left by her husband- Dushant, who was a prince he had to leave her in the forest as he had to tend to his princely duties. The usage of a poor beggar wandering for food comparing that to a angry sage is a great analogy, this shows a contrast of how people those days were scared of sages as they curse you if not tended or if you upset them in todays generation people are not afraid of beggars but this story ironically gave them more power.
ReplyDeleteHi Jess, I really liked your story. I think you're ahead of me, since I'm only in the Week 4 stuff, so I haven't read this story before, but I enjoyed your telling of it. What specifically drew me in was the beginning, when you opened with "Hunger was all I could think of". I really love storied written like that because it instantly captures my attention. If I might make one grammatical suggestion, at the beginning you said "women" when you where talking about one person. You could change it to "kind woman" or "kind lady" if you want, then it would make more grammatical sense. The same suggestion goes for the rest of the times women is used. Other than that I thought the story was really great and you did a good job! I can't wait to see what you write next for this class! Keep going, you can do this!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica! I think you wrote a really interesting story here. I liked how you changed the point of view to first person; this allowed you to explore some of the internal thoughts which rounded out your protagonist's motivation. Also, I have not read the story which you used as the basis for your narrative. It sounds like a really cool story, like an episode that could fit in with the Ramayana.
ReplyDeleteWhile I didn't read the story that inspired your re-telling here, I feel like I got a good sense of what it was about and why you found it worthy of being retold. Other than a little recurring spelling error ("women" might want to be changed to "woman," if I understood right that the subject is singular), I have little suggestion for improvement! I love the emotion you've portrayed here in this story as well as the ethical dilemma it provokes regarding helping the needy or casting judgement without proper evaluation of someone's circumstances.
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